Wednesday, December 19, 2012

I Write.

I write.

It's what I do. It's what I've always done. It's how I sort through all sorts of stuff.  I've tried to write about Sandy Hook, but I just can't.

Cry?  Oh yeah, I've cried.  I've cried over the pictures of babies taken from this world too soon. I've cried for Mammas and Daddies and sisters and brothers.

I cried through Church Sunday morning.  I LOVE singing Christmas carols in Church, but Sunday morning it just hurt too much.

I cried over the cross that some precious, nameless neighbor stood in front of our school. 

It's not that I'm sitting in front of the TV, immersing myself in the news.  I'm not about to "fall down" again.  I know I can't let that suck me in.  I've continued with my shopping. I hosted my annual cookie exchange last night.  My life continues. 

And I still cry.  I cry because I've spent so much time with 6 and 7 year olds.  I cry because I know what it feels like to hold one in your arms -- until she squirms to get down.  I cry because I can't imagine what it's like to have that ripped away. I don't want to imagine what it's like to have that ripped away.

But here's the deal....

Some of you are driving me nuts.

While I've tried hard to NOT be immersed in this, to keep myself upright -- three things have stood out that I continue to stew over. 

The first is this notion that God isn't in our schools -- that we've run him out of there.  People, God is WAY bigger than that.  God doesn't bend or bow to anyone -- He certainly didn't bow to Madeline Murray O'Hair. God is VERY much in our schools.  He was right there in Dawn Hochsprung when she charged that shooter.  He gave Victoria Soto the courage to hide her students and stand up to that beast.  He was right there giving comfort and strength.  His heart is broken right now -- and I assure you He is crying as well.

The other thing that is driving me insane is this Gun Control debate that is RAGING.  I've got friends on Facebook, concrete in their polar views, yelling at each other. 

Guess what?  None of you are right.  It's not an all or nothing deal. And some of you are being so darn hateful!  Really? Twenty BABIES died on Friday -- tone it down! I read a GREAT article last night that I think you all should read.....  Check it out.    I don't know this writer. She could be the biggest goofball of all time -- but in this, I think she's got some very good points.

The third thing that is driving me nuts is all this talk of Asberger's and autism -- and the fact that media is so freaking clueless it just creates confusion for everyone else.  Asberger's and autism do not create the kind of insanity that brings a guy to plan out an attack like Friday's.  My heart breaks for my friends who are raising kiddos "in the spectrum."  I KNOW you have an incredibly difficult path already -- without hearing autism addressed by clueless dudes on the evening news.  Please know each of you and your kiddos have been in my prayers -- by name -- this week.

So maybe I CAN write after all. 

And it's Christmas.  And if I let this steal our joy, the shooter wins even more. And if for no other reason than the fact that I think we could all use a bit of diversion, I bring to you Jake's annual Christmas letter.  No, I haven't mailed my Christmas cards yet -- they may come around Easter.  But in the meantime, you can enjoy Jake's annual missive.

Kait's teacher labeled it "confusing."  It may be.  Or maybe it's just that this was her first year to get "the letter."  But remember, Jake's about as ADHD as a dog can get.  "Squirrel" is his middle name.

Hope you enjoy.

Big Hugs,

Merry Christmas from Jake!
Howdy, Y’all! This is Jake. I’m kind of in the dog house. Yesterday I ate Mom’s Vera Bradley purse. It was tasty.
Abbie Grayce was baptized on Christmas Day 2011! In 2012, Kait got braces. Team Tiara’s goal is raising $100,000 for Breast Cancer Metastasis Research. “Keep calm and _____.” Biggs to D’Lyn: You know, I wonder what you do sometimes. Godspeed, Uncle Don. Be Sweet. Jones cousins taught us Chinese. Abbie’s DI Team, The Nerd Herd, won the Da Vinci Award and 1st at Regionals, qualifying for the State contest in Corpus! Have a Very Nerdy Christmas! “It’s a Tiara! A Tiara! I’m a Princess, and I have a Tiara!” Abbie & Kait played on FSA’s Rice Owls softball teams. Biggs coached. The garage freezer died while Biggs was in Asia. We lost Bellville sausage, Omaha steaks and Matagorda redfish. Abbie got contacts. I am a cancer Survivor thanks to my new vet in Navasota! My family went skiing with the Long family in Park City. I went to the spa – again. Kait learned to snowboard. D’Lyn got run down and slid 50 yards down the mountain on her tummy, spread-eagle, picking up speed. Nertz! Abbie played with the Sandlot Sox and CFGAA Angels. The new boathouse at the Creek is The Bomb. The jet-ski dock is SWEET! Abbie was a frog in the 5th grade play, Eleanor Roosevelt for wax museum and graduated from Keith Elementary with a clap-out. The Kid-Pitch Rice Owls won the Championship! Abbie & Kait made All-Stars. Kait got her ears pierced. Cy-Ranch State Baseball Champs! Pie Sampler at Royers’. Kait went to Tanglewood, and Jesus touched her heart. Vacation at the Creek. 6,352,218,354:1 – The mosquito to human ratio in Sargent. Fishing with Captain Gene! Nertz! Abbie & D’Lyn went to Jr. High camp at Tanglewood and spent time with church family from The Branch. “Wouldn’t it be cool if pants were made out of cheese?” Kait went to ACU Leadership Camp and now wants to go to college at Rice, A&M and ACU. Bluebell Red Velvet Ice Cream. Abbie got a Phone! Road Trip! Storms, Scurry County Rodeo, the Mule in Muleshoe, Old Fort Sumner & Billy the Kid’s Grave. Abbie spent two weeks at Camp Blue Haven chasing bears – again. ”Pine trees tall, waterfall. Blue skies canopied o’er me!” Kait & D’Lyn went to the lake with the Taylors. Kait learned to surf. D’Lyn wake boarded! Call Me Maybe? We ate at Chick fil A. D’Lyn met Katie Stanko. For real. “If your bladder is the size of a peanut, does that mean the actual peanut? Or the shell?” Splashway! Rooster’s and Orange Leaf! Kait’s 4th grade teachers are Mrs. Loving and Mrs. Loveless – no joke. Mimi made sure Abbie’s middle school locker was all decked out. It’s a Good Morning! A&M joined the SEC. Opening Weekend is the best! Abbie, Kenlee, Stephanie & D’Lyn never want to see wallpaper again. Kait played soccer for Team USA (Biggs coached) and Challenge. See You at the Pole had the best turn-out ever. Cypress City Snow – butterscotch with cream and caramel. Shiner Prickly Pear. Not all Pinterest recipes are created equal. Kait turned 10 and celebrated with a skating party. Abbie played for the Houston Havoc and CFGAA Bandits. The Bandits were undefeated in CFGAA and were the Season Champs! Biggs and D’Lyn celebrated their 15th wedding anniversary. Abs & Kait brought two pet lizards home from Splendora. “Get your lizards out of the kitchen.” Pink with a Purpose. Team Tiara gave $25,000 to Dr. Jenny Chang with Methodist Hospital in Houston for Mets research and $5,000 to The Rose to help women who don’t have health insurance. Kait was baptized! Biggsy turned 40! Happy Happy Happy. Team Tiara raised over $100,000 for the DFW 3-Day for the CURE. The team has raised over $700,000 in seven years. Biggs got a speeding ticket in Louisiana. D’Lyn got her first speeding ticket in 20 years. Fuzzy’s Tacos! Kait got her braces off! Abbie turned 12! The Fairfield HEB opened! A&M beat Bama. Abbie joined Bayou City Crossfire Softball. Forevermore, D’Lyn’s birthday will be the week after Thanksgiving. We “Elf’d it up” to celebrate Abbie’s Birthday. The girls raided Pa’s Oreo & ice cream stash. Rice is going bowling.
And Johnny Football Won the Heisman!!!
We hope you had a great 2012 and are wishing you a Fantabulous 2013! May God Bless You!

Love, Jake & Co.


momof2 said...

Amazingly well written. You captured perfectly how I've been feeling but wasn't sure how to articulate. Would you mind if I posted a link to your blog on my facebook page?

D'Lyn said...

Thank you. Feel free to share, although I don't feel it was all that well written at all. I just don't have the words to express all of the emotions I'm dealing with -- the grief for children and families I've never even met, the respect for teachers and policemen and anyone else who put their lives on the line that day, and the disappointment in what is raging on both sides of the gun control issue at a time when this country, and that community, need to heal.