Tuesday, August 16, 2011

The Princess Guide: Thank You

Thank you -- all four of you -- for allowing me to have a safe place where I can admit I'm not perfect. 
 
A place where I can share that not everything in D'Lupe-ville is perfect.
 
I think I may have found my voice again. 
 
And the timing is perfect -- Because, boy howdy, do I have something to share with you.
 
 
 
 
Four years ago when my Mom passed away, my precious friend Kayren rerouted a Southwest Airlines Flight (or maybe just changed her reservation) to fly back from Nashville to San Antonio through Lubbock (not exactly a direct flight.)  If you've ever been to Lubbock, you know it's not a place you get to accidentally.  You pretty much have to want to go there -- or at least plan to do so. 
 
So much was going on -- Days of our Lives had nothing on me.  We had all these people coming in.  And friend-drama leftover from before we moved from Dallas.  And we had Milton as a step-father and Dad was wherever Dad was and wading through all of that was just plain bizarre.  And honestly, it's pretty much all a blur when I think back.
 
It all happened so fast.  One day Mom was fine and talking about coming to see our house in Houston -- and how soon could I send pictures -- and what colors was I painting everything.  And the next second, Mom had been diagnosed with this tumor growing down her spine. And was it breast cancer coming back or something or what??
 
And four weeks later she was gone. Gone.
 
And I'm telling you, it's all a blur. 
 
I remember a few things -- there was already food at the house before we got home from Lubbock.  And Anthony and Cheryl came in the day before the funeral to chauffeur us around.  And Janice was in the bathroom of the multipurpose building.  Just bits and pieces, really.
 
But there is this one memory that stands out more than any other.
 
After the funeral, after all the guests had filed out, it was just us.
 
And as I turned from that casket, I think I was so overcome with the finality of it all, and I finally lost it.  I crashed. And Kayren, knowing me better than almost anyone, was RIGHT THERE.  She caught me. 
 
 
 
 
Timing is a strange thing. 
 
 
 
My Mom had this plastic donkey that we bought at Gebo's one time.  It sat on a divider between the kitchen and dining room. When things were tough and we needed to deliver a certain message to her, like would you PLEASE take your hormones?!?!, we would turn that donkey upside-down so his butt was in the air. It was our signal to her that she needed an attitude adjustment -- and it worked.
 
Almost since the day she could walk and talk, Abbie considered that donkey HERS.  And after Mom passed away, Donkey came to live with us.
 
And travel with us. 
 
He goes everywhere.
 
He went skiing in Park City.
 
He went to Camp Blue Haven.
 
And he has made a bajillion trips to the Creek.
 
Last weekend, he fell off a bunkbed at the Creek and one of his legs broke off.  Kait came running.  Horrified.  It was an accident.  No one's fault.
 
Donkey's leg was broken off.
 
The sound that came from Abbie at that news was the exact same sound that came from me right when I turned around from Mom's casket and Kayren caught me. 
 
The very same. 
 
 
Abbie sobbed and sobbed and sobbed and the grief that poured out of her broke my heart.  Here was my precious girl who hadn't cried about the loss of her Granny in so very long -- Abbie doesn't cry often over anything -- GRIEVING.  I had no idea she had all that bottled up in her.
 
(Please note:  Just so you know, Donkey is fine.  Being the SuperMom that I am, I made a quick trip to the Sargent Country Store for SuperGlue.  You can hardly tell the leg was every injured -- and from now on Donkey will be guarding our house while we take a beautiful photo of him to the Creek.)
 
 
Timing really is a strange thing. 
 
Fresh on the heals of Donkey's injury, and Abbie's outpouring of grief, Kayren wrote something beautiful today.  She truly is a sister of my heart.  I haven't even asked her permission, but I'm going to share it with you.
 
Be Blessed.  I was.
 
Why Pink is my Passion
Mikol Kayren Babcock
As a child and until a few years ago when asked about my favorite color I had always responded with red. Several years ago, however, that changed... my new favorite is Pink. I never in a million years thought I would be on this journey, but after my best friend/sister from another mother lost her mother to Breast Cancer the same year that I gave birth to my first and only baby girl (after having 3 boys) PINK became my passion. I walked through the heartbreak with D'Lyn. I stood silently as she said her final farewell at the casket knowing that her girls wouldn't get the chance to show off their amazing accomplishments to their granny anymore. I was there to wrap my arms around her as she sobbed once she stepped away. I feel blessed to have that moment as part of our friendship as bad as it was because we had shared so many others together and it just brought us closer together. I mean our friendship had shared soo very much. We had been roomates as we found our way in the world after college, we had planned our weddings together, we even found out that we were pregnant with our first children around the same time and they happened to be due on the same date. But, I digress, I promised my precious friend that I would walk in the Breast Cancer 3Day with her that year. She had done it the year before and I was going to do it to honor her mom's memory. 3 months later, however, I had to back out of that promise because I found out I was pregnant, again, and couldn't imagine 60 miles of walking and puking. I gave birth in the spring to a beautiful but tiny baby girl. Zoe, was 7 weeks early and she was perfect! She had perfect tiny red lips and everything was where it should be and I was in heaven. As I was looking over her for the first time I started laughing, through my tears, at how perfectly shaped she was including her teeny tiny tatas! Her chest was only as long as my pinkie finger. Seriously one teeny tiny tata was at the tip and the other was at the base of my pinkie. I vowed then that I would do whatever it took to make sure that breast cancer would become a part of Zoe's history book (or the cure for it). I promised Zoe that if she ever heard a doctor tell her she had breast cancer, she would not be afraid becasue a cure would have been found. Zoe's great grandmother (my grandmother had had a radical masectomy in 1967.) I had a strong passion to go PINK! PINK for my daughter after years of blue in the house. More importantly PINK for her future and for the future of others. PINK to celebrate the life of D'Lyn's mom. PINK to celebrate the life of my aunt who passed away in Aug of 2010. PINK to honor the fight of my friend Janet and Traci who battled through breast cancer and are on this side of it to tell their stories. Oh I am passionate and would ask you to help me fulfill my passion to end the fight. If you would be willing to donate to this year's walk visit:
http://www.the3day.org/goto/kayrenbabcock
Go PINK!
 
I've already reached my fundraising goal for the Breast Cancer 3-Day. If this cause is on your heart, and you can open your wallet, will you please donate to Kayren? 
 
Thanks!
 
 

1 comment:

Kayren said...

How did I miss this? How is it possible for me to cry this hard even when I wrote what I wrote and reading yours cry too : ) I love you friend... funds or not I will always be there to walk by your side... or fall into your arms at the end of the walk! I love you friend!