Friday, July 31, 2009

The PMS Witch Needs a Name.

Most of the time, like three weeks out of the month, I'm one of those "giving" people. I cook, I make gifts, I buy little gifts. You know the drill.

But the other week of the month, the Witch moves into my body, and I morph into someone else entirely. That Witch is so strong she needs a name.

I'm thinking Helga.

I've been awake since about 5:30 -- see? She disturbs more than my character. Right now she's disturbing my sleep. It wouldn't be such a big deal if I didn't have to drive the 7 hours to the Motherland this afternoon.

But no.... I can't sleep. Helga and I are warring.

Here's the deal.

We haven't seen Amber and the kids since Christmas. Christmas!!! Do you have any idea how long that is?? Our kids absolutely LOVE spending time with their kids. And they got to do that yesterday. They ate it up. More about that in another post.

But as fate would have it, the only weekend Amber's been able to get down here is the very weekend I'm headed to Lubbock for Micah's wedding. Why our schedules couldn't have worked better, I have no idea. Next weekend would have been so much better!

But they're here this weekend.

So the kids had only a very limited time to play yesterday afternoon.

To further complicate matters, Biggsy needs to take the new WaveRunner down to the Creek this week to air it out and see what's what.

The kids and I aren't going to be there.

But the rest of the Biggses are.

AND here is where Helga comes in.

Do you have any idea the jealousy that has taken over my body? That is coursing through every cell?? On so many different levels?

This is like building a house, only to have someone else Christen your toilet. Your one chance to pee in a virgin pot.

It's like the time in Jr. High when I saved up my own money to buy this little pair of pink tennies. They were really dorky, in hindsight. But at the time, I LOVED them. When I went to put them on for the FIRST TIME, they had this black stuff all over them. A'Lise had worn them out to the burn barrel to throw away the trash and had gotten soot all over them. Before I had ever worn them!!! Dude, I was pissed.

AND YES. I know this is absolutely irrational.

I need to go up there this weekend. We haven't been up there since Christmas!! (Are you seeing a trend here??) I've got things that need to be taken care of, and I can't wait to see everyone.

But at the same time, I want to be at the Creek. I want to have fun on my new ride. I want to be the one who gets to share it for the first time. I want to see the joy on Kodie & Kamy's faces. I want to try to throw Amber off the back end.

Do I think they should just sit on the pier and look at it? Heck, no. Helga hasn't completely won out. They should ride and enjoy and have a great time. But it doesn't stop me from being jealous. I love those kids so much -- and just wish I could have a part of it all.

I desperately need Creek Pix of the kids to add to my gallery. But I'm not going to be there to get them.

My OCD has taken over.

Would someone just clone me already? Or develop some kind of quick transport device??

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Just a thought to maybe help you with this- if it was easy, everyone would do it. We all have jealous and selfish feelings from time to time. Its when you fight those feelings and do what is right despite the jealousy or selfishness inside of yourself that it has more meaning. So hold your head high and just enjoy the photos of your family on the new toy and be thankful they have great memories that weren't spoiled because you were, and are, the bigger person.