Monday, February 9, 2009

A Quandary

I've been coasting along, Facebooking and Blogging to my heart's content -- and wham! I got slammed with a bit of a dilemma last night.

The friend I mentioned a few posts ago? The one who was more like a sister than a friend before the Big Thing happened?

She sent me a friend request on Facebook.

And I have no idea what to do.

There's a part of my that craves information from her household -- and wants so much to know what's going on with her. And misses all our fun times more than anything.

But.... The Big Thing? Well, she put the moves on Biggsy. And I'm not going into details. But it wasn't really about him, more about what was missing somehow in her own life. Although, when you consider what a hottie he is, it's a surprise there aren't women just falling all over him constantly. And almost no one knows about what happened because I waded through the pissed off and angry and hurt and everything that went with it on the "high road." Our lives were so entertwined that I didn't think it would be right to answer her wrong with one of my own. So I resisted the urge to hire one of those planes with a banner to fly up the Interstate announcing to the world what had happened.

Moving to Houston was a very freeing thing for me. It got me out of town and far away. But at the same time, losing my Mom right after just compounded my grief. By that fall, I had made some new friends and was finally able to talk about what had happened. Some dear Tiaras and MOPS friends were there to listen. But at the same time, being this far away, it allowed me to carry that load of anger a lot longer than I probably would have otherwise.

Last fall, a dear friend, a mentor helped me work through the forgiveness part -- finally. And I've felt so much lighter since then. We've talked on the phone a couple of times. I sent a Christmas card.

But last night this Facebook thing popped up. And I don't know what to do. My network is largely her network, too. Our lives were that entertwined. And that's just a bit bizarre.

And I just couldn't jump off and hit "confirm." It's almost two years to the day since the nightmare started. That's an awfully long time to have something between me and a sister in Christ. And that's what she is. Even if I don't consider her a friend that's closer than a sister at this point. At the end of the day, she is a sister in Christ.

And this is what I'm dwelling on today.....

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