Monday, November 10, 2008

Not All Things are Meant to be Shared. Or are They??

This time of year I pretty much eat, sleep, live and breathe the Breast Cancer 3-Day. I have this little group of chicks that I think about 24-7. Are they training? How much more money do they need to raise? All that jazz.

Laundry doesn't get done. Dishes don't get washed. And don't even get me started on what a mess the upstairs is. But this is what I do. And I love it. And Biggsy, the man I love, gets it.

But we don't share it. Not really. I give him updates on the donations, number of walkers, etc. And I love bragging about how he helps me with fundraising. Each year he sends out one fundraising email with the subject line, "Save Second Base." And boy, can he bring in the $$$ with that!

There's a part of me that wishes he'd walk. And I think we've skiied together enough times that we kind of have a groove for how we could pull it off. Walking together some of the time. On our own some of the time. It'd work.

But then there's a part of me that wishes he'd crew. He would love that part of the 3-Day world. Not as one of the crazy fairy costume wearing guys up at the front or the Santa strolling through the dining tent. But as a member of the Gear & Tent or Safety or Whatever. He could totally rock with that.

We kind of talk about it from time to time, but at the same time it is kind of nice to have him here to take over my role for the weekend while I'm gone. And I think he enjoys that part as well. It really is the only weekend of the year he gets to totally take over as Mom. It's the only weekend of the year he gets to sit on the couch, watch the soaps and eat bon-bons. Every guy needs that, right? Yeah. Right.

But we do talk about it. And as cool as it was to have Anthony on our team this year, it would have been neat to have Biggsy there as well. Then, our unofficial slogan could have been:

2 Guys.
120 Boobies.
3 Days.

So Anthony thinks Biggsy should walk, and this is part of what Biggsy shared with him. It melted my heart.

"You seem to think I do not appreciate the difficulty of my wife's accomplishment of, not walking, but committing her life to this cause. I get all misty every time I read her blog about why she walks. Frankly, you do not fully understand what she has put herself through for this cause, in the name of her Mother.

The first year she walked, she was not ready and way overstretched herself. She came limping into the finish line in so much pain that she barely acknowledged Kaitlyn. I am used to her ignoring me, but not Kaitlyn. I really expected her to not do it again. She's not exactly one for enduring pain; she doesn't even like to sweat.

Then she trained for y2 and did it. Still hurt herself, but she did it. I think her little feet are just not made for walking that far. Too little with high arches. The preferred foot is long and flat. But she didn't just do it, she recruited a bunch of people to do it with her. How she managed to build a team to go do something that caused her so much pain still amazes me.

Now, I watch her recruit and manage her team. It's all passion. She doesn't have to try. Raising money, talking to strangers, walking at night by herself, putting up with whiners, she does it all and only complains a little.

So, to your point. Why I should do it? Yes, I could do it. The walking scares me much less than all the women sitting around getting emotional. I wouldn't even have to raise $$ since D'Lyn would do it for me. I think D'Lyn, on the surface, wants me to. However, I tend to have an opinion about how to do things. This opinion would be completely different from D'Lyn's. She does everything on emotion; me on data. I am more than a little concerned that my involvement, while supportive, would not be good for her overall experience.

Secondly, I think it is healthy for her to have her thing. I support it. I'll help her. I plan my time around it, but its hers. She needs it to be hers. We have many things together, but not many things that are ours individually. I have Sunday afternoon softball. I do not invite them and they usually do not come. Its good for me that way. I equate it to picking out our china. D'Lyn said she wanted my opinion and I was more than happy to give it, but we would have both been better off had I just stayed in the electronics section for an extra 1/2 hour.

So, I am still thinking about it. Probably will be for awhile, but that's where I am now."

I wanted to share that with you because, as a wife, it's such a cool thing to hear your husband brag on you -- way cooler than walking 60 miles. If Biggsy decides to walk or crew, great. If he decides to sit on the couch and eat bon-bons, great. I love him either way.

1 comment:

JSue said...

I'm so glad Biggsy is so supportive of you...not that I'm in the least bit surprised.

When I lost my Mom (almost 3 years ago)from a massive heart attack, I had a 3 year old daughter and a 3 month old baby girl. Once I recovered from the shock (she went to bed one Sunday night and "left for home" fortunately pain-free)and what it did to me physically, I focused my all on my girls. I am proud of you for walking for such an important cause.

If only there was an organized bike ride for heart disease, I would so be there. In the meantime, if you need someone to walk with (for training), I'm right around the corner!

Way to go, D! (and Biggs!)